Elf, Dominion Theatre

There’s nothing wrong with Elf that a decent song or two wouldn’t help put right. Oh, wait, there is one – “Nobody Cares About Santa” – which bucks up act two no end and turns rather deliciously into a chorus line of Santas with swinging sacks. But it’s also the only moment where Matthew Sklar and Chad Beguelin’s score actually embellishes the comedy and lifts the show to a level of invention it otherwise never achieves. That number is set in a Chinese restaurant where New York’s Santas go for the hot and sour soup special at the end of another grim season of promising kids expensive gaming packages while they text on their mobiles. It’s wonderfully cynical and almost touching.

Actually, so lame and generic is the score that you know you’ve heard it all before – the entr’actes sound like the kind of band music that used to introduce Morecambe and Wise and “The Christmas Song” is frankly something you don’t want to be heard going out humming.

But hey, it’s a sweet story that today’s kids will connect to (if their parents can afford the extortionate prices) and the production values  – with the obligatory high-tech pop of clever projections and flashy lighting – certainly have their “ooooh” moments. The book (from Thomas Meehan, of Annie fame, and Bob Martin) is more than serviceable and it’s especially well-served by the hard-working Ben Forster as Buddy who almost makes you forget that he doesn’t have the height which constitutes 50% of the comedy (Will Ferrell looked SO big and absurd in the Elf costume) and is winning by virtue of his mobile face, puppy-dog physicality and terrific singing. He almost doesn’t have a leading lady because Kimberley Walsh’s Jovie is so short and underwritten a part that if I were the producers (or a Girls Aloud fan) I’d be asking for a rebate.

Elf will probably have a great December and early January before Santa flies out of the oversized Dominion. But making money on an expensive Christmas show in just three months is literally asking too much of the public. The season of goodwill only extends so far and Elf would have to deliver a lot more than a heartfelt message and a few good natured chuckles for us to dig that deep into our pockets.